The Anatomy of Taste

Some of my favourite food experiences have been entirely unmemorable, an emergency package of instant ramen at 2AM for example, a handful of almonds just out of the shell, or a quick fried egg with plenty of salt and pepper, the experiences stimulated by nothing other than intense flavour.  

Still I maintain that dining is a complete sensory experience, taste complemented with sight, sound, touch, and smell. My fleeting gustatory pleasures were enhanced by my own mental context. I like the idea that expectations can be challenged simply by capturing one's imagination, that experiences can be taken to new levels involuntarily through sensory stimulation. 

Synesthesia fascinates me, especially as it relates to gustatory perceptions. That is- a rare lexical-gustatory condition where individual words evoke taste sensations in the mouth, like that the word "blue" tastes like ink.  While synesthetes experience this condition involuntarily, we've seen more people, companies and brands shift our preconceptions and expectations of them and their products in recent years, paving the way to exciting new creative territories. Here are some inspiring examples of innovation in the world of food and more. 

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Flavour Tripping
Most of us have heard of miracle fruit (Synsepalum Dulcificum), and some may have even attended the many flavour tripping parties that have made their way around the world. Native to West Africa, the fruit contains the active ingredient miraculin which when eaten, binds to the taste buds and makes bitter or sour foods taste sweet. Examples are lemons which taste like toffee and vinegar that tastes like sherry. The effects can last between 20 min and 2 hours. 

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Bompas & Parr
The ultimate example of what I'm talking about, Bompas & Parr are the young UK duo famous for creating food experiences on an architectural scale with cutting edge technology. Their projects explore how taste is altered through synaesthesia, performance and setting. 

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Alcoholic Architecture
Their creation Alcoholic Architecture was a walk-in cocktail housed in an unassuming London bar space. Visitors wore protective suits when entering into a cloud of vaporized gin and tonic which they imbibed through inhalation. A forty minute stay in the bar equalled a one ounce G&T beverage. 

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Scratch & Sniff
Another great example was their Scratch n Sniff Cinema, where Peter Greenaway's classic movie The Cook The Thief His Wife and Her Lover was transformed into a scratch n sniff event. The pair captured key moments of the film in aromas like rotting meat and dusty books, which were then micro-encapsulated and printed onto scratch n sniff cards for the audience to follow along. 
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Perhaps most famous for their jelly obsession and the vintage British jelly company that is their namesake, they once created a 2000 person Jelly Banquet, a vast glowing jelly installation for SF MoMA, and even sell bespoke jelly moulds starting at £800 on their website

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Visual Scent
For a non-food example, here is Boudica, a London-based design team responsible for the visual perfume that is Wode. This is a tribute to the mythical Queen Boudicca and her tribe, who wore a cobalt blue war paint on their skin that gave them ferocious look when advancing into battle.  The perfume sprays on as a cobalt blue dye on the skin and clothing, but disappears within minutes, leaving behind a strong scent of cardamon, coriander seed, and juniper berry. 

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Le Whif
A good friend of mine was a student of renowned Harvard Professor David Edwards and part of his small team of students researching and creating a revolutionary product at the crossroad of gastronomy and science. The group collectively came up with Le Whif- an inhalable chocolate containing zero calories but rich in taste. Culinary art was combined with particle engineering and aerosol science to create a perfect particle size small enough to become airborne and big enough not to enter the lungs.

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Le Whaf
David Edwards' newest project is Le Whaf, a new way of eating by breathing liquid droplets, as opposed to Le Whif, which was the breathing of dry particles.  This is inline with the work done at David's biotechnology startup, Pulmatrix, which makes respirable aerosols that deliver large quantities of drugs like antibiotics to the body.  

Grant Achatz
Another person who inspires me incredibly is Grant Achatz. One of America's most celebrated young chefs, he found himself battling tongue cancer in 2007 that suddenly rendered his taste buds useless. After undergoing intense treatment, he is now slowly regaining his sense of taste, but has continued to challenge our preconceptions of foods and restaurants through serving some of the most innovative and mind-bending dishes at his Alinea. He recently sat down with LIFE to discuss the work of some of his peers at the world's best restaurants, and here are some examples from El Bulli, wd-50, Aronia de Takazawa, and The Fat Duck.  In his own words. 

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elBulli: Sopa de Lletres (Alphabet Soup)  
"Just looking at this makes you smile, which I am sure was the intent of chef Adria when he thought of spelling out 'The Soup' by cutting the letters out of strawberry-flavored meringue. At elBulli, evoking emotions is a big part of the experience. And in this case, Ferran triggers humor by making a cheeky presentation that pokes fun at itself."

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wd-50: Everything Bagel, Smoked Salmon Threads, Crispy Cream Cheese In New York City
"Chefs often reference classical dishes and flavor combinations in the form of a tongue-in-cheek play on the original. Here, Wylie riffs on the traditional NYC combo of bagels and lox. He manipulates temperatures and textures to create a deceptive presentation that visually mimics a bagel, but after the first bite the diner finds out it is really ice cream. Even though the flavors and ingredients are basically the same as the original, the dish is new, surprising, and humorous. It reminds us that cooking should be spontaneous, whimsical, and -- most of all -- fun and enjoyable."

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Aronia de Takazawa: Salt Circles
"I really like how Yoshi arranges the very geometric forms of the salt circles next to the organic shapes of the tempura. The gradual transition of color in the salt is also very effective in giving the diner a sense of flavor anticipation. I expect the darker brown circles to have a deeper, almost rich flavor, the green hinting at herbal, the white a sweeter almost vanilla note, and finally the pink suggesting a fruity flavor. This enforces the idea that we taste first by sight, with the brain processing colors, textures, and forms in terms of flavor before we even take out first bite."

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The Fat Duck: Sound of the Sea In England
"I was fortunate enough to experience this dish when I ate at the Fat Duck in 2007. In this case, the edible portion of the dish is inspired by the look of a shoreline. But because Heston wanted to involve sound in the experience, he had the added pressure of figuring out a way to conceal an iPod playing the cry of seagulls and the crash of the waves on the beach. His solution was brilliant. A large conch shell houses the music player, and disguising the electronic, non-organic device helps preserve and even enhance the overall theme of the presentation."

Tagged food writing

conversations with @jennygao and @kmeganc

(I'd like to preface this by saying that @kmeganc and I are mature adults, who happen to be in the unfortunate situation of having to live at home for the time being. )

10:23 PM Megan: oh geeeez, my mom just yelled at me asking why i wasn't in bed yet
 that's how cool i am
10:24 PM me: my mom just yelled at me about various things
  including how the garbage smells
 Megan: "Jenny! why does the garbage smell!?"
 me: and how i should wash my tupperware at work instead of bringing it home to wash
  
 Megan: HAHA
 me: this morning at 7am
  i was awoken
  by a screaming man
 Megan: oh shiiiiiiet
10:25 PM me: banging on the elevator doorsscreaming bc he was stuck
  in the elevator
  and i didn't know what to do
  so i didn't do anything
  but eventually someone saved him
 
  he kept ringing the panic alarm
10:26 PM me: but noone heard
  lol
 Megan: except you!!
 me: security must have been taking a shit
 Megan: HAHA
 me: i was sleeping
  and he woke me
  stupid man
 
 Megan: yah seriously, who gets stuck in an elevator at 7am??
  if he had any decency, he'd wait till at LEAST 11
10:27 PM me: muahahaz
  totes
  ppl these days
 Megan: fo cereal
 me: now cereally
  
 me: i was laughing just now
10:30 PM and my mom demanded me to tell her why
 Megan: HAHA
 
10:31 PM me:  she like WHY YOU LAUGHIN
  i ignored her
  and she goes WHATS IN THAT BAG
  and kicks a bag on the ground
  i ignored her
  and then she goes STUPID GIRL
  and left
  
10:32 PM Megan: LOLLLLL
  if that shit happened on TV, ppl could call it racist
 me: lol
  BUT ITS TRUE
  
10:36 PM Megan: my mom has this reeeeally good expensive tea that i was forbidden to use
 me: who is allowed to drink it then?
10:37 PM Megan: just my mom
 
 Megan: baaaaah i'm so restlesssssss
 me: wanna go wreak havock?
10:38 PM Megan: hells yeah!!!
 me: whoooooooooooo
 Megan: let's friggin break into our mother's forbidden snacks and GORGE
  fuckin BAD ASS
10:39 PM me:  my mom does this thing where she offers me food that she would throw out otherwise
10:40 PM goes something like this: "jenny wanna eat/drink this??"
I'm like "No"
and she goes "OK" and dumps it down the drain
  its like im a pet pig
 
 Megan: i feel the love
10:41 PM me: asians
 
11:04 PM Megan: i'm trying to save up for iceland
 me: oh yea, whens that happening
11:05 PM Megan: beginning of august
  i looked up icelandic on youtube
  it's so ridiculous
  i don't know how i'm gonna survive
 me: why
 Megan: it's basically 13th cent norse
  
11:06 PM me: huh?
  
11:07 PM Megan: okay basically they speak what the vikings spoke when they first arrived
 me: that's rad
 
 Megan: and i think 8/10 ppl actually, like really believe that elves exist
me: rad
 Megan: and when they build roads, if they encounter an area that myths say are inhabited by elves, they build the road AROUND itand where i'm staying is notorious for witchcraft and sorcery
 
11:11 PM me: if only our conversations could be reenacted on video
  if only i had comedic timing
  in real life
 Megan: let's do it
 me: we'd dominate on youtube
 Megan: cuz we'd watch ourselves millions of times
11:12 PM and laugh
 me: ahahahahahaha
  like im doing now
  reading our convo and laughing by myself
11:13 PM Megan: lololol
  we should start a blog-series
  conversations with jgao and mchen
11:15 PM me: like the ricky gervais show
  we need to find ourselves a third guy with a head shaped like a fucking orange
Tagged writing

Banker to the Poor

Book 1, January 2010

Banker to the Poor | By Muhammad Yunnus | Public Affairs 2003 | 262 pages | $18

My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.
           - Ayn Rand

Just finished my first book of the year, now 1/52th of the way through my 2010 self-improvement embarkation. So far, so good. 

I've had this book for a couple of years now, and only just rescued it from the dust trap that is my bookshelf thanks to my new-found resolve. The same fate has befallen many of my hundreds of books. There is very little that gives me as much primordial pleasure than holding the smooth cover of an unfrayed paperback and taking a deep whiff of that new book smell, so I buy and I buy, and make far too many trips to the bookstore to justify my actual time spent reading. 

This summer when I met up with my good friend D in Malaysia and later in Thailand, she told me she was interning in the energy division of Grameen at its headquarters in Dhaka. When she explained to me how Grameen works, I kicked myself for having merely a bare-bones knowledge of micro-finance in Bangladesh and the South Asian world when I had the micro-lending bible sitting in my bookshelf at home. 

Yunnus weaves a remarkable story of his own life amid the fascinating history of Bangladesh and Pakistan and the astuteness that led him to develop a billion dollar bank guided by a genuine sense of social purpose. Since 1982, Grameen has made $3.4 billion in loans to over 2.4 million people. This is an average loan size of $1400, a sum that most financial institutions would find laughable and impossible to execute profitably. But in 28 years of operation, Grameen has made a profit in every year but three when natural disaster struck of tragic proportions. Not bad for an idea born out of $27 from Yunnus's own pocket. 

The success of Grameen lies in the brilliantly simple solution to world poverty that Yunnus developed, founded on the core beliefs that 
  1. Credit is a fundamental human right. 
  2. Poverty and need to survive are the strongest motivations to repay. 
  3. Support groups provide essential peer motivation to succeed. 
  4. The bank should be designed 100% around the customer, with payment terms aligned with the borrower's motivations. 
Grameen's loans have a repayment rate of over 98%, and despite skeptics' consistent predictions of failure, more than 250 replica micro-credit models operate successfully today in over 100 other countries. 

What really struck a chord with me was the clarity with which Yunnus problem-solved, and his determinationed questioning of the status quo that led him to go down a path where no bank has gone before. I often speak of Ayn Rand and my admiration for her relentless quest to persuade man the pioneer to lead society down a never-before-trodden path. It occurred to me that Ms. Rand, if she had lived to see the two million enterprising Bangladeshi women lifting themselves out of poverty today, would be grinning from ear to ear. 

(download)

Tagged writing

dumpling nostalgia- the xiaochi stalls of Guanghan

I was born in a small township outside Chengdu, a dense metropolis that is the capital of Sichuan province. The town is so small that its name may not even matter if not for the fact that I'm writing about Sichuan's xiaochi, or street snacks, and the only place where the commerce of traditional xiaochi stalls still thrives, is my hometown Guanghan.

My grandparents lived in Guanghan long after my parents and I moved to a bigger city, but every time I visited, our morning ritual was a long stroll out of their apartment and into the narrow alleys of noise, smells, and excitement of haggles and exchanges. There were no cars on the road then, they wouldn't fit. Rickshaws lined the streets promising to deliver you to the first meal of your day.

The eateries were many and each separated from the next by little more than a thin wall, and differentiated from each other by little more than the crackling paint on it. There was scarcely an empty seat, but the turnover was high, and a new set of patrons entered every twenty minutes. Ours was a square room with communal tables, chairs that croaked with history, and a plump woman selling tickets - ration-style-  at the entrance.

You skim the list of xiaochi, pick a weight; half kilo of noodles? Full kilo of dumplings? Or one and half kilo of each if you are in a ravenous mood.  You find a seat, and join in the cacophony of diners when, having barely blinked, your food arrives. 

My mother always ordered the jingsimian, noodles as thin as strands of silk, swimming in a clear chicken broth. I'd wrinkle my nose in distaste.  It would be years later that I learned to appreciate the simplicity of the golden broth, and the velvet mouth feel of the thin noodles.   My father ordered the sanheni.  To this day I have no desire to find out what ingredients lie in this mucous bowl of brown.  The paste of ground flour is mixed with various nuts and dried fruits and emulsified in a thick oil. I can't get past the aesthetics, but can understand the nostalgia it evokes in my father from having grown up in a time of famine.

My order was unfailingly the zhongshuijiao.  The dumplings arrive releasing a steam that could warm a frigid heart. Generous chunks of pork and chives coarsely wrapped in al-dente blankets with the markings of an experienced jiaozi hand. I pick one up and examine the wrinkles of the wheat wrappers under my chopsticks. I know there will be a glistening pool of red underneath.  This sauce is the lifeblood of zhongshuijiao. My mouth puckers with the tartness of Sichuan vinegar, balanced with a teaspoon of white sugar and ground chili flakes.  I take a bite of my dumpling and chew slowly, then soak the other half in the sauce, dying it a brilliant oily red. The savoury protein has never bathed in a sweeter elixir than this.
This is how I eat my zhongshuijiao, leaving behind a white bowl with no remnants of its former glory. 

It has been many years since I've returned to my hometown.  The roads have widened, shops have closed, and news customs have replaced the ones I knew. "Why don't we go to the xiaochi place for lunch?"  I ask.  My grandmother looks at me with alarm, "That place? We would be insane to go there when there's fresh food at home. Those xiaochi places are so dirty and unsafe anyways."

Some memories can be recreated, and others are jolted only to discover they could never take form again. But as I sit in thought, steam hits my nose and I see the hot oils slowly seep into the dumplings, painting my bowl into a sea of red.

Once Upon a Time a Proletarian at TIFF

Just read a provocative piece on Xiaolu Guo, China's literary wonderwoman in the superb FLYP magazine. Hefting ward-winning novels in Chinese and English, and films that have toured some of the world's leading film festivals, she is only in her 30s.  Her gallery and works here


She writes about the split between the East and West, between external and internal worlds, and the fragmentary nature of her film narratives accentuate what she calls "the individual voice of the peasants" in order to tell a larger story. "Only by understanding their interior voices," she says, "can you understand how a nation is being constructed."


Toggling between Beijing, Paris, and London, her own life is a permanent state of impermanence that lends to her subjects , taking form in protagonists who are in a constant battle struggling to reconcile the dialectic tensions between East and West. 


Her film Once Upon a Time a Proletarian shows at the Toronto International Film Festival on Saturday September 19th, 2:45pm. I'm buying a ticket, and if you're in Toronto that day, feel free to join me. 


From the description of "Once Upon a Time a Proletarian"


"Much like the written ideograms in Chinese languages, the twelve chapters forming Guo Xiaolu's latest documentary, Once Upon a Time Proletarian: 12 Tales of a Country, transcend conventional narrative and float into a poetic world of images that succeed in rendering a sharp portrait of post-Maoist China. These twelve lyrical and politically insightful visual essays unveil the social landscape of China today."

(download)

Tagged china writing

a morning in paradise, an afternoon in hell

We arrived in Koh Kong yesterday, a tiny city at the border of Cambodia that most tourists use merely as a stop-over on route to Thailand. The journey by bus seemed to last an eternity. Don't get me wrong, the scenery outside was stupendous, rice paddies and lotus flowers turning into rolling hills and valleys. It was the television screens inside the bus, projecting music videos to cambodian love songs full-blast, that was, oh how do I put it delicately, like putting in eyedrops with turpentine.  Ok it was like watching fat kids drown in a tub of bacon fat, Ricky Gervais in a speedo, a sight so terrifying you can't look away. If there's one industry headed for big things in Cambodia, its the entertainment industry.  Go long now.

There is little to do in Koh Kong other than extreme trekking in the Cardammon mountains and visiting Koh Kong island, which we planned for the next day, so we made the natural choice to enjoy a very long happy hour in an air-conditioned wi-fied cafe instead. It was raining most of the evening anyways. We ate copious amounts of pizza, pasta, and fries to supplement our hard life and fell asleep watching "Not Another Teen Movie" on StarTV, a work of cinematic genius if you ask me, brilliance in screen writing...  "let's make like a tree and... branch out of here...", "I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like: damn, shit, and that is wack.", "good night pumpkin tits.",    "damn, that shit is wack.".... bahahahah seriously can it get better than this??

Anyways, this morning we rented a speedboat to explore the largest island off the coast of Cambodia, fourty minutes from shore.  The beauty of the island was so unexpected it knocked my clothes off. Well, since we were sunbathing it was inevitable, but it was truly something like what I'd have imagined Alex Garland's fabled beach to be like.  In contrast to Ko Phi Phi, this actually felt unchartered, we were the only life to be seen for miles, sharing the land with thousands of small cream-coloured crabs scampering in and out of tiny sand dunes.  The water was a million shades of crystal, and behind us, for as far as I could see water, were green hills and coconut palms.  Like, this can't even be real, I kept thinking to myself.  I think we played for what could have been hours.

All too soon, our driver started waving at us to head back. I heard something about choppy waters in the afternoons here, so reluctantly we returned to the boat. The waves were larger now, rising a meter high and bringing our boat with it, but were no real cause for alarm, yet. I have experienced choppy waters before, and after a stomach churning episode on the Thai seas, I thought I had seen it all.  And at least this boat, albeit plastic and alarmingly evocative of an oversized fisherprice toy, actually worked in contrast to our speed boat in Laos. We kept on our merry way, until the sun disappeared, and the sky turned rather...ominous. This is when it started raining heavily, the waves rose even higher and we came down each time in a crash so thunderous I swear it made my insides shift. Seriously it was like if by some sick design hell had a waterpark.
I couldn't see, had trouble swallowing, tried to formulate prayers in my mind, but kept envisioning the final scenes from The Perfect Storm. Rajnee and I squinted at each other through the crashing waves hitting our faces and torrents of rain water and communicated last words silently.  I mean, being stranded on the Mekong is one thing, at least I could see both banks of the river and could probably float to each effortlessly in 3 minutes.  This was the freaking Indian Ocean with NO LAND IN SIGHT. And we were on a TOY BOAT. If my organs were functioning properly I think I would have crapped my bathing suit.  A million times.

After what seemed an eternity, and legitimately was probably an hour, we finally saw land, and the waters calmed almost instantly. We were carried by the waves now instead of going against the current. I've never been so happy to stand on firm ground.  Shaking, we handed our smiling driver 60$, repeating "Akun, akun", the Cambodian word for "thank you".

The sun came out again as if on cue, saying "hah! you survived this one...but maybe not so lucky next time"


Sihanoukville  tomorrow!  Ps... I stupidly forgot my camera cord back in Bangkok, so I cannot upload any pics until I get back. :( You'll have to do with my stupendous descriptions of my adventures for now.

x

Tagged cambodia writing

after the flood

When it rains, Phnom Penh floods. Early this morning we were woken by torrents of rain washing down on our guesthouse roof. Slowly lulled back to sleep, we didn't get up again until two hours later, when we drew the curtains to see a city under water.

I did not realize how essential drainage systems are. As the city came alive with the morning sounds of commerce, little children, elderly ladies, vintage mercedes, tuk-tuk drivers, and food vendors waded their way through knee-deep murky waters, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary. I realized I needed a sturdy pair of flip flops if I wanted to do any sightseeing today.
 
Our chosen tuk-tuk driver for the day showed up at the hotel at 9:30 as agreed upon the previous night when he drove us to the guesthouse. The competition is fierce in Cambodia for tuk-tuks and they are camped out in hoards on every corner trying to score a full-day comission taking tourists around the city. I talked him into going to the market across the "river" and buying me a pair of rubber shoes, the crappier the better, were my instructions. "I will give you only $1, get the cheapest thing you see." Five minutes later, he returns beaming. Carefully wrapped in a black plastic bag was a pair of the most horrendous sandals I have ever seen. Brightly patterned with images of jelly beans and lollipops, it featured a fist-sized head of Mini Mouse, wobbling vigorously on the thong of each shoe.  I wanted to cry, to applaud this twenty-something Cambodian boy's brave fashion sense, but I just laughed, and wore them all day with pride.
 
I promise to attach a picture of said eye-candy at my earliest convenience.
 
We did manage to keep our feet dry, sort of, as the tuk-tuk sped through Phnom traffic towards the Killing Fields memorial outside the city. This was one of the most interesting and thoroughly disturbing tourist sites I have been to in South East Asia, the eerie nearness of its story and its significant consequences on Cambodia today impacting me much more than even Angkor Wat. There were over 8000 skulls stacked on top of eachother in a grand monument that from the outside looks like the image of calm. Walking through the grounds was gently treading on the mass burial graves of generations of civilians, entire families of old and young. The Khmer Rouge abided by the philosophy of "exterminating grass from the roots up", to prevent revenge in later years by the children of these prisoners. Rajnee and I discussed on the way back the nearness of these events, and the seeming inability for us to learn from these barbaric acts towards humanity, even today.
 
There are a number of restaurants in Phnom Penh whose proceeds go towards great causes.  We stopped at one of these, called "Friends" for lunch. The grounds included a children's educational centre, a handicraft store, mini manicure and massage parlour, and a superb restaurant training former street youth for the fine dining industry in Cambodia.  The place was beautifully decorated with local artwork and had a menu so inventive I wanted to try everything. Persimmon lychee smoothie anyone? We had five different small plates to share, and I have to say it is some of the best food I've had in SE Asia. It was truly inspiring to see the youth serving and cooking with huge smiles on their faces, and to support this venture was a blessing.
 
Since I last wrote, I left China, evidently. I went to Siem Reap for a couple of days and visited the spectacular ruins of Angkor Wat.  Pictures to follow.  Tomorrow we are taking a bus to Koh Kong, a conservation area with the second largest virgin rain forest in SE Asia and some of the most beautiful islands that rival Ko Samui, just without the tourists, yet.
 
Until next time.
x
Tagged cambodia writing

Josh Greenspan's Thailand

Read this and be transported.

Bangkok, October 30

Bangkok.  Unique.  Head throbbingly vibrant.  Standstill traffic twelve hours a day, hundreds of motos and tuk-tuks fighting for that last inch of space to squeeze by.  Pretty girls sitting side-saddle on motos, their feet just missing a car, a food stall or me.  And then the rain.  If Tokyo rains sideways, Bangkok pays no attention.  It just rains straight down in long neverending sheets broken only by the all-too-close clap of thunder and sliver-thin bolts of lightning.  The city simply moves, undulating.  Nothing fancy, certainly nothing organized.  The people move around ... or they don't.  They cook anywhere and everywhere and eat in just about the same fashion.  Nearly every street is a no-name street and where yesterday there was a food stall, today there is a t-shirt vendor or a streetside mechanic, all bathed in the harsh white-blue glow of flourescent tubes.  Boats fill the river and with no median to separate them, they glide in every direction.  Fast boats, longtails with oily black-brown clouds trailing them.  Boats with peaked rooves bearing the flag of a fancy hotel.  Water buses, the ticket woman shaking her silver change tubes making sure everyone pays the 30 cent fare.


via Dorie Greenspan's website

Tagged thailand writing

i spoke too soon

1. I love how a rainy day just puts everything on hold. Hutong tour, what tour? No more filming either. I guess my new Nikon lens can wait too. The mega camera mall will still be there tomorrow. Rainy days should just as well be called 'Shirk from your responsibility' days.

2. So I'm shirking from my responsibility to study, and will blog instead.

3. My diet in the last two days, in that particular order: pizza, fries, heavenly mozza sticks, mcnuggets, ice cream, pizza, powder soup, pizza, instant coffee, cookies, salted almonds, instant coffee, vitamin pills, calcium pills.

4. My obesity has reached a next level. Stop judging me with your eyes!!

5. Heavy D, you're gonna kill me. Or at least make me eat a tub of Greens+ in Thailand.

6. Does anyone else think the lyrics to Beyonce's Diva are a bit ridiculous?

7. The Momofuku sommelier, Christina Turley, is beyond sick. In fact the entire staff in the Momofukuverse is next levz, from David Chang himself (who has yet to find out he's my future husband) to Peter Serpico, the genius chef at Ko. But 24 year old Turley is a true diva, you know, the female version of a Hust-laaa. I'm immensely jealous of her job, but it was kind of written in the cards for her as well, having grown up playing in the grape vines of Frog's Leap Vineyard in Napa- incidentally owned by her dad. Full Stop. It's really true what Gladwell discusses in Outliers. 50% of one's success is based on circumstance, birth right, serendipity, whatever you call it. The 10,000 hours of practice, well you can't exactly practice sniffing new world wines growing up in the suburbs of Toronto can you? So I'm jealous. But just have to find my own way to be featured on the NYT Moment Blog.

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mad men

"Then I dressed and off we flew to New York to meet some girls. As we rode in the bus in the weird phosphorescent void of the Lincoln Tunnel we leaned on each other with fingers waving and yelled and talked excitedly, and I was beginning to get the bug like Dean. He was simply a youth tremendously excited with life, and though he was a con-man, he was only conning because he wanted so much to live and to get involved with people who would otherwise pay no attention to him. He was conning me and I knew it (for room and board and 'how-to-write', etc), and he knew I knew (this has been the basis of our relationship), but I didn't care and we got along fine- no pestering, no catering, we tiptoed around each other like heartbreaking new friends...And his criminality was not something that sulked and sneered; it was a wild yea-saying overburst of American joy; it was Western, the west wind, an ode from the Plains, something new, long prophesied, long a-coming (he only stole cars for joy rides). Besides, all my New York friends were in the negative, nightmare position of putting down society and giving their tired bookish or political or psychoanalytical reasons, but Dean just raced in society, eager for bread and love; he didn't care one way or the other, 'so long's I can get that lil ole gal with that lil sumpin down there tween her legs, boy', and 'so long's we can eat, son, y'ear me? I'm hungry, I'm starving, let's eat right now!' - and off we'd rush toeat, whereof, as saith Ecclesiastes, 'It is your portion under the sun.' A western kinsman of the sun, Dean...Somewhere along the line I knew there'd be girls, visions, everything; somewhere along the line the pearl would be handed to me. " - Jack Kerouac, On the Road

How many people have tasted this 'ragged and ecstatic joy of pure being'? We glorify this paean to bohemian hedonism or the beat generation, and yet few would stray from mainstream values to embrace that other. A spontaneity without conventions. I close my eyes and swing to the rhythm of Sal Paradise's underground America; the fast jazz, the heightened sensation amongst inebriated revelry, and cannot tell if my burning desire is for a life on the road or the thrill of observing others at it. There's safety in watching the first snow through the glass.

Sometimes I would think I was born in the wrong generation. I saw Ai Weiwei's introspective at his Three Shadows Photography Centre a couple of months ago. It was titled New York Photographs 1983-1993, a deluge of prints chosen from over 10,000 that he took in that decade. "At that time, I didn't really have anything to do. I was just hanging out, whiling away my time everyday by taking pictures of the people I met, places I went, my neighborhood, the street and city." I liked him instantly. He was broke, he was aimless, he was revolutionary, he was a genius. And no one saw it except the friends who rolled through his East Village apartment. People like Chen Kaige, an icon in his own right, just another face in the day, immortalized in frozen frame.

Thee air was electric then. You could disappear to the big city, be faceless and nameless, sit in a studio apartment discussing Joyce and Eliot for hours, sleep at dawn and spend all your time chasing the intensity of an unforgettable exuberance. I found myself wishing I weren't bound by my circumstance of birth that restrains me from hitchhiking across America, picking up beatniks along the way. Even the words of Allen Ginsberg, friend to both Ai Weiwei and Kerouac, and inspiration behind Carlo Marx in On the Road, romanticizes the Beat generation to a certain degree. 

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at 
dawn looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient 
heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the
machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high
sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities
contemplating jazz

It was not until I read parts of Kerouac's biography, that my fascination with the madness started wearing off, when I realized Kerouac's grand aspirations of one-upping Ulysses consistently produced work after work of drunken revelries at some next party, and the pubescent desire to destruct the safety of the known. Another member, George Corso, did a great job of summing up the glory and absurdity of the Beat generation. In his poem 'Marriage', he explores in his mind all the rebellions he would perform against a life of routine and suburbia, summing up all my fears as I sit here now, but playfully mocking the Beatniks for never growing up. I realize there are realities in which I live, but indulging in the poetics of Kerouac's life on the road may just be the next best thing.


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